A Family Grieving
by lasatgirl60
Summary: Just a one-shot that I got an idea for after finally seeing the two episodes "Jedi Night" and "Dume". I'm still reeling over Kanan's death! I'm not ashamed to say I cried during these episodes! This story takes place after Hera, Sabine and Ezra return to the rebel's base. This is how I think they felt at the death of one of the family.


Just a one shot I got an idea from after finally seeing the episodes "Jedi Night" and "Dume". I'm not ashamed to admit it, but I cried during these episodes! Kanan's death was sad to watch and in the next episode where Zeb gave Ezra a hug got to me too! I thought the big guy was going to cry! This story is similar to "Heart of Gold...Broken" but with some added stuff.

A Family Grieving

"THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE THAN THIS, THAT A MAN SHOULD LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIEND'S" John 15:13

Zeb watched as the Imperial gunship came in for a landing. He saw through the viewport that Sabine was piloting the ship. The Lasat waved smiling, hoping they could see him. His smile vanished when Sabine came running down the ramp obviously upset and throwing her pilot helmet on the ground where it landed at his feet.

"Sabine?"

The sounds of sobbing came to his furry pointed ears.

"Sabine? What's wrong?"

Zeb looked over to see Hera and Ezra exit the ship looking lost and sad. The Lasat noticed that one person was missing.

Kanan

A sick feeling went through his stomach. Something had gone wrong with the mission, something terribly wrong.

"Kid?" he asked watching as Hera walked away appearing to be crying.

Ezra walked towards him his head bowed, eyes shiny with tears.

"Kid,what's wrong?" Zeb asked as he put his big clawed hands on the boy's shoulders.

"Kanan...," Ezra whispered his voice soft, "He's...gone!"

"What d'ya mean he's gone? Was he captured?"

"No...Zeb...he's...gone..." the boy whispered as the tears began to fall.

That sick feeling grew in Zeb's stomach and he knew the truth. His friend...his brother...Kanan Jarrus was...dead. Swallowing hard, the Lasat pulled the boy into a hug. He shut his eyes against the tears that were gathering behind his eyelids. He held Ezra close for a few moments feeling the boy trembling. Then Ezra pulled away and ran off probably to grieve in private or meditate like Jedi do.

Zeb swallowed hard again and felt several tears trickle down his furry cheeks. He quickly wiped them away knowing he had to be strong for the other members of his family.

The Lasat walked back to the rebel's hidden base and saw Sabine sitting by herself near the cave entrance. The girl had her head on her knees and appeared to be crying. Zeb sat down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. She lifted her head up to see who had touched her shoulder.

"Zeb...," she whispered and then threw herself into the Lasat's arms.

He held her close as she cried. He massaged her back in a comforting way feeling his eyes tear up as well. Ryder Azadi walked up to them seeing the grief both of the GHOST crewmembers were showing. He layed a hand on Zeb's head, and then walked away letting them grieve in peace. Sabine held onto Zeb and eventually cried herself to sleep. The Lasat lowered her onto the ground and she didn't stir when he gave her head a quick ruffle.

Taking a deep breath, Zeb got up and went in search of Hera, worried about her most of all. He knew how close she was to Kanan and how much she had loved him. He couldn't imagine the pain she was feeling right now.

A soft sobbing met his ears from near the cave entrance. Almost afraid to walk in, he peered through the entrance and saw Hera sitting, leaning against the wall displayed with the ancient drawings of the Loth-wolves and the natives of Lothol. The Twi'lek woman had her hands over her face and Zeb could see her shoulders shaking. Chopper, the GHOST'S astromech droid was keeping a silent vigal beside her. When Zeb walked in, Chopper moved his dome towards the Lasat and gave a soft sad little beep.

Hera lifted her head and saw Zeb who was leaning against the opposite wall.

"Zeb, I...I didn't hear you come in. Is something wrong?" she said her voice a bit hoarse from crying.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," the Lasat said feeling that sick sensation in his stomach again.

"Oh...I'm all right."

"Hera, don't kid yourself. You're not all right."

The Twi'lek woman looked at him with the saddest eyes.

"Zeb, what do you want me to say? Yes, Kanan's gone and there's nothing we can do about it. Yes, I hurt. I hurt bad!"

Zeb saw her trying to hold herself together. He got up to go over and sit beside her.

"Zeb, if only you could've seen him...before he died," Hera said looking over at him a sad smile on her face, "He held back an explosion to save Ezra, Sabine and I. Before he...died...he could see me."

"See you?" Zeb asked as a frown crossed his face.

"Yes, his eyes returned to normal...then he was gone."

Zeb's mouth hung open in shock and his eyes widened. He couldn't think of anything to say.

Hera picked up her kalikori that Kanan had rescued from the clutches of Grand Admiral Thrawn. She held it tight to her chest. Zeb watched as tears fell from her eyes.

"Zeb, I...I need some time...alone, okay?"

The Lasat nodded and swallowed hard.

"Okay."

Hera raised her head up and gave Zeb a smile that nearly made him break down.

"Zeb? T...Take care of Sabine and Ezra. I know they are hurting..."

They're not the only ones, he thought.

"Sabine is asleep and I don't know where Ezra is," he answered, "He...ran off after you got back. He...uh...was pretty upset."

"Take care of them...Zeb, " Hera said putting a hand on his arm, "Be a big brother to them. That's what they need right now."

"Okay...Hera."

Hera leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek surprising him at her show of affection for him.

"I'm glad you're part of this family..."

Zeb nodded and got up to walk out of the cave before Hera could see the tears in his own eyes threatening to fall.

Ryder Azadi saw the Lasat exit the cave and noticed how sad he looked. The former Lothol governor knew that this strange little band of rebels were more than friends or comrades.

They were a family...a family now grieving the loss of one of their own.

"Captain Orrelios, are you all right?" the older man asked.

"Uh...not really," Zeb answered blinking his eyes, "Have you seen Ezra? I know Sabine is over by the cave entrance asleep."

"No, I haven't seen the boy since he returned. Jai Kell was also looking for him."

"I...I think I'll go look for him," Zeb said as he walked over to where the speeder bikes were parked.

"Do you want me to go along?" Ryder asked.

"Uh...no...Ryder...I've got it," Zeb answered knowing the human meant well, "Need a little time to myself."

"Okay...Garazeb...Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you," Zeb said as he put a hand on the older man's shoulder. He gave him a small smile and got onto a speeder bike.

He headed out to the Lothol wilderness getting farther and farther from the base. The more distance he put behind him, brought on more sadness and it was all Zeb could do to keep the tears inside.

Finally he came to a stop near a large rock formation and got off the speeder bike. The Lasat stood staring out into the distance and felt his heart breaking.

"Kanan...," he whispered, "Why? Why did you...leave us?"

His answer was just the wind that blew at his sideburns and goatee-like beard. He shuddered, feeling the cool air against his purple-striped fur.

"Kanan...why?"

Zeb sat down his back against the rock formation and placed his hands over his face. Tears began to fall from his eyes. He stood up as he felt a great anger build up inside him.

"NO!" he yelled and turned to the rock face and began beating at it with his fists. The rock didn't yield to his punches and that just angered him more.

Zeb began to hit the rock formation with all the grief and anger he was feeling. He swore not only in the Lasat tongue, but also in Basic. The more he hit the rock, the more pain he felt in his broken heart. He continued to punch the rock finally cracking it. The Lasat's hands were both bloody, his bony knuckles skinned through the fur.

Zeb sunk to the ground and looked around seeing nothing but a couple of dokma waddling around.

"Kanan..." the Lasat whispered and then began to cry in a way that didn't sound like an adult Lasat who was a former captain of the Lasan High Honor Guard. It was the weeping of a broken heart.

Zeb fell over onto the ground and curled up into a fetal position and cried until there were no more tears left in him. He was so exhausted that he fell into a fitful sleep.

Back at the rebels's base, Sabine Wren woke up and went in search of Ezra and Zeb. She saw that Hera was finally asleep after crying for hours.

"I don't know where Zeb is," Jai Kell said to the older girl, "He went out a few hours ago on a speeder bike looking for Ezra."

"Ezra is here. He's asleep next to Hera. He wandered into the cave a couple of hours ago after meditating for awhile," Sabine answered suddenly feeling worry for her Lasat friend who was more like a big brother to her and Ezra, "I'll go look for him."

"I think the big guy can take care of himself," Jai said angering her more.

"Maybe he can," came Sabine's response, "But Zeb is hurting as much as we are at Kanan's death."

She took off on a speeder bike heading to a place she knew that Zeb might be. The two of them had found the rocky area just a few weeks earlier and there were caves nearby for hiding supplies. It didn't surprise her when she saw the speeder bike parked by the biggest rock formation. What surprised her was, seeing Zeb laying curled up in a fetal position near the rock base shivering. She saw that both of the Lasat's hands were bloody especially around the knuckles and his face was wet with tears. He appeared to be asleep.

She parked the speeder bike and walked over to where Zeb lay on the ground.

"Zeb?" she asked running a hand over the Lasat's furry head.

The Lasat opened his eyes that were puffy around the eyelids from crying. His vision cleared to see his friend who was more like a little sister to him.

"Sabine?"

"Yeah, it's me, big guy. C'mon let's go back to the base."

Zeb sat up and rubbed his eyes almost looking younger than Sabine.

"Is Kanan really gone?" he asked in a small voice.

"Yes...he's dead," Sabine answered as she sat down beside him, "But he died a hero. He gave his life to save us...to save us all."

Zeb bowed his head, shutting his eyes to the pain he felt. Sabine moved closer to him putting an arm around his broad shoulders. She leaned her head over onto his shoulder closing her eyes and felt him trembling. She opened her eyes and saw tears streaming from the Lasat's big green eyes. This was the first time she had ever seen Zeb cry and it made her feel sadder seeing that a strong person like Zeb could cry with grief like the rest of them. She felt tears fall from her eyes too.

"Oh...Zeb...," she whispered and leaned closer to him, "It's okay to cry. I know you hurt because I hurt too. Ezra and Hera hurt just as much as we do."

"S...Sabine," the Lasat whispered and leaned over into the embrace she enveloped him in. He didn't care that he was being embraced by someone alot younger than him. Grief had no age limitations.

"I know, big guy, I know," she said hugging him closer.

After a few moments their tears let up and Sabine looked down at the Lasat's bloodied hands.

"Zeb, what did you do to yourself?"

"I...uh...got mad...and hit the rock."

"Looks like the rock won," Sabine joked seeing that Zeb was calmer. The only evidence of his crying was the dampness of the fur under his eyes and puffy eyelids. The familiar crooked grin appeared that Sabine loved.

"Let's get back to base and fix those hands."

Ezra sat worrying about his two friends, his two siblings. When he saw the two speeder bikes return with Zeb and Sabine, he was relieved. He ran to them and hugged them both tight. More tears flowed between the three of them. Hera had left the solitude of the cave and saw her three friends, her three "children" holding each other while crying. She walked over and embraced them with all the maternal love of a mother.

Off in the distance a Force spirit watched his four friends...his family holding each other. He knew that they would be all right...

I'll always be with you...in your hearts...in your memories...my family...I will always love you...


End file.
